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Having experienced two job transitions in 2024 and 2025, I’ve picked up some valuable lessons that helped me navigate tumultuous times.
As a tech leader who found herself searching for a new role twice in less than a year, I’ve experienced the highs and lows of job searching acutely. These transitions were not part of a grand career plan, and that’s exactly what made them so emotionally disruptive.
In a post-COVID world still shaped by global uncertainty, the tech job market has changed drastically. For years, we could shift jobs relatively easily for better compensation, exciting challenges, or new technologies. Today’s reality is different: longer interview cycles, increased competition, and more silent rejections. I’ve seen this play out not only in my own journey but across my network of talented, experienced technologists.
Few talk about the emotional weight of being suddenly back in the applicant seat, especially as a senior leader. My resilience has been tested in ways I never expected. Though I still haven’t figured it out, I’ve found valuable guiding principles that have helped me throughout the process.
Rejection isn’t the be-all and end-all
Interview processes demand a lot of candidates. Often, they consist of multiple stages and take-home assignments. It can be demotivating to invest all that time, energy, and emotional bandwidth into a process, only to not get an offer.
I’ve learned to see rejection as part of the process, not the end of the story. When I don’t move forward in an interview, I remind myself that it often comes down to fit, timing, or shifting priorities, not a reflection of my value. A mantra that grounds me is: “I only need one yes. It will be the right one.” Every closed door brings more focus to what I truly want. Over time, I’ve started treating each interview as progress, even when the outcome was a “no.” Rejection still stings, but it also builds clarity and resilience.
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How to deal with feedback (or lack thereof)
One of the hardest parts of interviewing is the lack of meaningful feedback. Sometimes you’re ghosted entirely. Other times, you receive a vague “we went in a different direction,” or a message like “you did everything perfectly, but…”
I’ve learned to reframe that absence of feedback as a neutral data point, not a personal failure. Often, this vacuum can only be boiled down to a reflection of a flawed hiring process, and not your worth.
The reality is that many companies have deprioritized candidate experience. Hiring teams are overwhelmed, trying to optimize for speed and efficiency, and somewhere within this, personalized feedback becomes a luxury.
When you come face-to-face with this scenario, remind yourself that an interview is just one snapshot. It measures how well you performed in that moment, not your capabilities as a leader or a human.
Since feedback is often limited, I’ve learned to create my own loops. I debrief with my partner, who also works in tech, or reach out to friends who helped me prep case studies or mock interviews. Sometimes, just saying things out loud helps me identify areas for improvement. I also turn to leadership podcasts or talks to regain perspective and motivation. Connecting with peers at conferences, meetups, or even casual dinners helps me remember that I’m not alone in this.
These practices don’t replace feedback, but they give me fresh lenses through which I can reflect, adapt, and move forward.
When I do receive feedback – even if it’s a few lines – I follow a simple process that helps me extract meaning and maintain emotional balance:
- Read it once, then step away.
I give myself space, whether that’s journaling, venting to my partner or best friend, or simply pausing. This helps me avoid overreacting in the moment and makes space for perspective. - Reframe it.
This step is all about resetting my perspective and shifting my mindset. I remind myself that closure is still progress. The outcome doesn’t define my value, and this interview is just one moment in a much longer journey. Reframing helps me shift from disappointment to perspective so I can move forward with more clarity. - Return to the feedback with a clearer mindset.
Once I’ve reframed the experience, I revisit the feedback with more clarity. I highlight two or three useful insights that I can apply in future interviews, and I discard anything vague, impersonal, or unhelpful. This is the moment when I move from emotional processing to learning and strategy. - Reflect.
Finally, I try to understand how I was perceived, not just what I said. Interviews are shaped by many variables, such as how the interviewer felt that day, what other candidates they met, or how clearly I told my story. Over time, this reflection has helped me build more self-awareness and adapt my approach without losing my sense of self.
These steps help me stay focused on what’s ahead, while also learning to embrace silence, pace myself, and be intentional with how I show up next.
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Reclaiming agency throughout your job search
If you’ve ever been in the uncomfortable position of facing multiple rejections, you know that it becomes easy to question whether you’re still seen as a valuable and strong candidate.
Here are a few practices that helped me show up as the best version of myself:
- Prepare intentionally: I always start by researching the company’s values, culture, and product. Most organizations share their values on their website or embed them in their job descriptions, even if not explicitly. I look for keywords like collaboration, inclusivity, and ownership, which give clues about what they care about. This helps me tailor my stories to reflect those values. I also review recent blog posts, press releases, or product updates to better understand the company’s context and current priorities.
- Practice presence: this is about being fully in the moment during the conversation. For me, practicing presence led me to realize that I tend to rush my answers to interview questions, often completely missing what the interviewers were truly looking to gain in asking. Now, I slow down and listen carefully. I pay attention to tone, pacing, and body language. If something feels off, I pause and ask clarifying questions or rephrase the question to confirm. This has helped me better connect with interviewers and leave discussions feeling more aligned on both sides.
- Have real conversations: interviews should be a mutual exchange, not a one-sided performance. I come prepared with thoughtful questions that show I care about understanding their challenges, goals, and team culture. I try to move beyond surface-level queries and ask things like, “What does success look like in this role after six months?” or “What keeps the team energized right now?” This not only gives me insight but also shows the interviewer what I value and how I think.
- Be ready to say no: if the values, leadership style, or mission feel misaligned, it is okay to walk away if you can. I understand this is a privilege not everyone has. Sometimes, you need to accept a role to regain financial stability, secure a visa, or simply move forward. If that is the case, approach the role with curiosity. It might surprise you. Or it might be a stepping stone while you continue exploring better fits. From my experience, when something does not work out, it is usually because the right opportunity is still ahead.
- Network meaningfully: many of my best job leads came through informal conversations on LinkedIn or in Slack groups. Don’t underestimate the power of community. I regularly connect with peers at conferences, meetups, and in leadership spaces. Podcasts and newsletters often lead to useful recommendations, including books, thought leaders, Slack channels, or niche groups. LinkedIn is a strong place to start. I follow people working in areas I care about, join interest-based groups, and engage with those whose work I admire. Not every connection leads to an opportunity, but each one helps build a stronger foundation.
- Enjoy the process: every interview is a chance to grow. I treat them as opportunities to learn more about industry trends, company dynamics, and most importantly, myself. Each conversation helps me clarify what I want next. Is it growth, meaning, impact, or stability? Reconnecting with those questions has helped me walk into each interview with more clarity and confidence.
- Make space for reflection: one unexpected benefit of going through multiple interview processes was the space it gave me to pause and reflect. In the middle of everyday delivery at previous jobs, I rarely had time to think over all that I had built or learned. Interview preparation forced me to reconnect with my impact, summarize my growth, and notice gaps I had not seen before. It became a moment of self-discovery and renewal. I had not realized how much I needed that until I made space for it.
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What I wish more leaders knew in their job search
What I wish more leaders knew is that even the most experienced among us can feel vulnerable, invisible, or unsure when navigating the job market. We are not immune to the anxiety of uncertainty, and that’s okay.
If you’re interviewing, give yourself grace. You are more than the sum of your applications. The version of you that comes out of this, humbled, reflective, and resilient, is already better prepared for the next opportunity than the one who started.
If you’re hiring, never forget the human on the other side. Feedback, empathy, and a single moment of kindness can turn a rejection into a positive memory. The way we treat people in these moments defines our leadership more than the roles we fill.
The future will shift again. Be proud of how you navigated the uncertain times, not just because you got the job, but because you grew through the process.
