What to do when you have a bad manager

Estimated reading time: 13 minutes

It’s a tale as old as time. So how do you navigate it? 

At some point in your career, you’ll probably work for a manager who makes your job harder than it needs to be. Maybe they micromanage, overpromise and underdeliver, or take credit for your work. It’s frustrating, but it can also be a powerful lesson in how to lead, influence, and protect your boundaries.

Define what “bad” means to you

The first step is to be specific about what “bad” means to you. Are they disorganized, abrupt, or simply different from what you expect? Sometimes what feels “bad” is really a clash in values, culture, or style. Leadership experience also plays a role. I’ve been teaching leadership for over a decade, and I can easily identify gaps in managers who are still developing their skills. They might be my manager for a variety of reasons, but I need to remember they are at a different point in their leadership journey.

Identify their needs

Behind most frustrating behaviors is an unmet need. A micromanager might feel like they are losing control, or that they’re worried about the progress and risk. A distant manager might be overwhelmed or unsure how to be involved without appearing to micromanage. A manager interrogating you might feel that they lack transparency, understanding, and context. 

To identify their needs, ask yourself the following questions:

• What are your manager’s current priorities, and how might they differ from yours?
• What pressure might your manager be under?
• What outcomes do they value the most?
• What is their communication style, and how are you adapting to it?

Understanding their needs doesn’t excuse poor behaviour, but it helps you predict how they’ll respond and can help you find ways to work better together.

Adapt your style to their needs

Once you have identified their needs, start considering how you can actively match them. For example, I once worked with someone who I felt was micromanaging me. They would randomly send me a chat asking me questions about progress on very detailed items. Each 1:1 felt like an interrogation. 

Rather than waiting for questions, which is a more reactive approach, I decided to communicate more proactively. I started sending them a more detailed update about work items every other day, rather than once a week. In our 1:1s, I would prepare to discuss work items in detail, offering them an overview and asking which items they would like more information on. While I still felt like I was spending too much time, and they still had some questions, it felt less like an interrogation.

In another situation, I worked for a manager who never read the detailed updates I emailed. When we met, we spent a lot of time reviewing the information I had already sent, and it frustrated me because I found it inefficient. 

I realized what kept my manager from staying on top of emails was how much time they spent in meetings, and they preferred in-person discussions to get context and simultaneously ask questions. Once I accepted their preference and adapted, our meetings became more productive, even if it wasn’t my preferred style.

Be clear about your needs and set boundaries

Respecting your manager’s preferences doesn’t mean you should neglect your own. You can express yours clearly and assertively using the non-violent communication framework:

1. Describe what is happening.
2. Share how it affects you.
3. Express your need.
4. Make a concrete request.

For example, “When deadlines shift, I feel anxious because I need time to plan my work. Can we flag changes earlier next time?” Or, “When I receive work messages at 9 pm, I feel stressed because I need time to rest and spend time with my family so I can do my best at work the next day. Could we agree to discuss a non-urgent topic during working hours instead?”

Offer feedback

Even if you’re working with a manager who frustrates you, hopefully, you still have a good relationship. If your relationship allows it, consider offering feedback carefully, but do so in small doses.

Effective feedback to your manager is just like effective feedback to others. It focuses on behavior instead of labelling someone. For example, instead of leaning on terms like control, lazy, or incompetent, consider what behaviors you observed that led you to that conclusion. For example, if you think someone is lazy, it could be because you don’t see what they are doing, so you think they are not doing anything. Or that they are lazy because they promise they will take an action by a certain date, and don’t because of other priorities. 

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Instead of saying something like, “You don’t listen,” you might say, “I noticed in our last update meeting, we ran out of time before I could share the update you asked for. Could we schedule 5 more minutes next time, or start with the update you want?” Feedback that invites collaboration is more effective than feedback that puts someone on the defensive. 

Bad doesn’t mean they’ll always be bad

Navigating a bad manager isn’t about fixing them. It’s about understanding them, adapting where you can, and protecting your own boundaries. Every bad manager is still human and capable of growth. But even if they don’t change, you can leave every experience as a better leader with stronger communication skills, resilience, and a better understanding of what sort of leader you want to be.